My age tends to surprise people for a lot of reasons. I get asked about my age a lot, mostly because I’m dating someone who is significantly older (11 years, for all you nosies), but also because I’m one of the youngest people that works at my company.
I’m generally not interested in a lot of things that people my age are interested in. I have an early bedtime. I’m also a pretty serious person. I FEEL older than I am, I always have.
When John first started to tell friends my age, they all teased him about not being able to catch up with a younger woman. Once he was at a punk show with friends and they were teasing him about me out partying into the early hours and he looked at his watch and said, “She’s been asleep for the past 2 hours.”
All that “If you don’t mind me asking…” business aside, I’ve been struggled a bit with my age lately. It’s strange to see people from high school married with kids and 100% settled down. It’s also strange to see people from college with super successful, glamorous and demanding jobs in LA. I’ve started to feel… young. I see other people traveling, getting married and managing teams in their companies and I can’t help but to compare and feel somewhat inferior.
The thing is, I love my life. I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. And still, I can’t enjoy it. I have this nagging feeling that I need to be doing MORE. I know this isn’t a profound thing, and I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself… I know. But I think a lot of women would agree with me, it’s difficult. It’s difficult to move up in companies or just find jobs, period. It’s difficult to find someone to fall in love with. It’s difficult to make friends, make money, make time to relax….
I saw a quote the other day, “Nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking that you should have your life together already. “And they are right, I need to relax, I need to calm down. I’m not trying to be the next Mark Zuckerberg, I just want to be a good person who feels happy with her life. Slowly, but surely, I will get to where I need to be.