Feisty Opinions on Iron Man 3

IRON MAN 2 WAS BETTER THAN IRON MAN 3.

I’m sorry, but it’s true! I know that because of this opinion of mine, I’m in the minority. I know that very few people will back me up. A few people might respect me a little less. And I’m ok with that. I can take your criticisms. Just hear me out, ok?

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There are a few obvious reasons why Iron Man 2 was better. First, I loved Mickey Rourke. Keep reading… you promised to hear me out! Mickey Rourke made a fantastic villain and was a truly memorable character. He was nuts, he was eccentric, but also, you felt a little sad when he died (he died in SUCH a cool way) because that final battle at Stark Expo was insanely good… come on, admit it! I’ve heard so many people complain that he was “cheesy”, but I feel as if he’s comparable to Tom Hardy’s performance of Bane. Mickey Rourke became Ivan Vanko. He created this personality, accent and clothing to become something unique, original and unforgettable. And poor Guy Pearce. He always plays the crazy bad guy and the weird thing is, he’s not even very good. While watching Iron Man 3, I couldn’t even really figure out why he was a villain… he was just an empty vessel, a pretty face.

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Iron Man 2 was visibly brighter. The colors were saturated and the locations were exotic. They drove race cars in Monaco, took scenic drives along the coast and the Expo had a bright, Vegas-y atmosphere. Iron Man 3 was dark. It randomly took place during Christmas (way to release at the right time guys!) and every darn fight scene took place at night or in some dark, dank room. EVERY ONE OF THEM. You can’t give birth to the idea of Iron Man in a desert and then stick him in the snow! And while I loved every moment of RDJ dressed like a lumberjack, that’s not Iron Man! That’s just Robert Downey Jr. fulfilling my personal fantasy! Iron Man is the billionaire playboy who’s supposed to be in well tailored suits and expensive eyewear. Maybe that’s not entirely on par with the comics, but it aligns with the other movies. And why was Iron Man dressed like Vanko in the scene where he goes to find The Mandarin? Weird sunglasses… a zip up hoodie that’s too small… pants that are too big… did anyone else notice this???

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Iron Man 3 was a “love” story with Pepper, which was sweet, but I don’t really believe it. They’re funny when they’re arguing, but they’re not believably in love! I just can’t believe that Pepper is the “one thing” that matters to him. Iron Man 2 had Scarlett Johansson in a tight body suit for eye candy… which I think everyone could agree is much better than Gwyneth in a sports bra!

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The thing that saved Iron Man 3, in my opinion, was the suits. My goodness those new Iron Man suits were cool. The effects were so detailed and brilliant… maybe better than the effects from Transformers! And another thing Iron Man 3 had was a really funny kid. The “snow” portion of the script was saved by the perfectly timed and hilarious repartee between Stark and his new little friend. Honestly, I could’ve watched an entire movie of their interaction and most of my biggest laughs were when they’re arguing with each other. And judging by the reactions of my fellow audience members… they would agree with me!

Overall, Iron Man 3 didn’t flow. It was choppy, randomly spaced and I felt as if there were too many hands on the movie. There were too many opinions. There were three villains… none were very good. The ending was a weird summary of too many story lines. Iron Man had a handful of weird sort-of-panic-attack-y things that were supposed to convince us that Iron Man was in a weak, distraught state. So I guess no one told Iron Man that panic attacks usually last longer than 5 seconds? Is Iron Man not Iron Man anymore? Is he just a smart guy who’s good with technology and now, medicine?

I don’t get it… but of course, I’m still dying to know what’s going to happen next.

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