Fall Fashion: A Complaint

Every year I wait impatiently for the fall bibles to show up in grocery store check out lines and magazine stands. For some reason I can’t wait to open the pages and see the fall ads and editorials of the clothes I’ve already browsed online. Don’t you ever feel that fall fashion, or fashion in general, is just like reinventing the wheel? Almost every line is reminiscent of another and originality lacks while previous decades are exploited. I always wonder if people will look back on our current fashion trends and mock them? Because in my opinion, they’re far too boring to mock! This year was a prime example of monotony. Going against my every fashion inclination, the bibles preached in the name of leather and shapeless silhouettes.

Now, I love a good leather jacket… but a leather tee shirt? Leather skirts? And leather pants just make me giggle because I’m immediately transported back to the Friends episode where Ross gets stuck in his leather pants. Wearing leather is like wearing armor. It’s why punk kids and Harley dudes don it every day. They’re protecting themselves from mainstream society or gusty winds. But you don’t need armor to go to the grocery store. Or to your office. It just looks downright silly.
Shapeless clothes are an insult to every woman. Yes I’m even talking to you, lanky model girl. Women are soft, we’re shapely and our clothes should cling to those soft shapes. It’s a large part of what physically separates us from men. To hide our bodies, regardless of shape or size, in formless clothing is a travesty. I spent the larger part of my middle school years begging my best friends to step away from the sweatshirts that were so popular… and here I am, begging you all to do the same a decade later. Step away from the sweatshirts. Don’t you dare buy that frumpy coat. You are much too pretty to wear something so horrible. Make sure it fits your shoulders, nips in the waist or is a flattering length. You will thank me later… and I know, because my best friends did too.

My final complaint is for color. Every year we’re supposed to swoon when the fashion gods say which color is “in”. And every winter the fashion gods must go on vacation because the commoners are left with the same answer… winter white… and black. Now, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I hate wearing white in the winter. I prefer to wear it when I can offset a golden summer tan and not blend in with my pasty and practically translucent winter skin. But I have a larger problem with “black” being their answer. Can’t we come up with something a little more exciting? A little unexpected? I already have a gazillion black items in my closet and they’re not inspiring me further. Fall 2010 was one of my favorite seasons because a handful of brands came out with browns. I was actually excited with “brown”! For me at least, black is the new boring.

Chanel’s fall ad absolutely epitomizes everything I find wrong in fashion.

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