In so few words, in the last few weeks I’ve been humbled.
I think I got a little too cocky for a while. Here I was, moving to a new city and I felt like I had everything wrapped around my finger. I’m living in a beautiful home with a wonderful family in one of the best neighborhoods in Seattle. I was surrounded by men, even some men who showed interest in me for the first time in YEARS (SoCal bros hardly ever glanced my direction). For a while, I felt that I had friends… or at least really fun acquaintances. I even had THREE jobs… when for a time I struggled to find ONE. I bought sassy new clothes and spent money at restaurants. I went to movies and shows and even went dancing. I was exploring new places and meeting new people.
And then… I wasn’t.
I really liked a boy, only to find out that he really didn’t like me much at all. The friends were nowhere to be found. Some of the jobs were tiring and in some ways, really, really thankless. I realized that I had messed up… big time. And now, I’m trying to figure out how to remake my life. Again.
And it’s times like these when I imagine what I really want my future to look like. I don’t want a big fancy job. I don’t need a big fancy house. A car might be nice. An apartment with lots of natural light would be wonderful. A job that pays the bills and suits my personality would be stellar. But I don’t expect much in the way of “things”. To me, love and friendship is far more important that status and dollar signs. I know that love and friendship doesn’t happen the way that I thought I had it… immediate and effortless. It takes time and I won’t have it right away in a city full of strangers. But I know it’ll come. Someday, I’ll have the dinner (or brunch) friends that I’ve always wanted. And as much as I’m excited for that time… I’m also excited about the journey of meeting each person and loving them.