Yo, Proust

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I might want to start a questionnaire facet to the blog and coincidentally, my aunt bought me this Proust questionnaire book. Some of the answers are so revealing and at the same time, so light and funny. Warning, do not read this on a plane if you have a weird laugh. Because when I’m reading I do this weird chortle-chuckle-cough noise when I think something is funny. And this is especially unattractive to the very sexy Norwegian man sitting next to you. I thought I’d answer some of the Proust questions here to start it off!

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A day out of a Cotton Commercial. You know, the one’s where Zooey Deschanel rides her bike, Kate Bosworth goes shopping and Colbie Callait goes to the beach. It’d probably involve a sunny day, a sundress, a flea market, a cool movie theater (and good movie) and a really delicious cheeseburger.

What is your greatest fear?

It used to be that I would never DO something. I had this grandiose idea that I would be this extremely accomplished person that would leave this huge imprint on the world before I left, but I’ve come to terms with the limits of life. The answer is probably snakes. Snakes terrify me and really just shouldn’t exist.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I went to a public high school and took three years of French. Basically, I learned the most minimal knowledge of the French language, but somehow managed to do three presentations on Marie Antoinette. With the same teacher. I like this think that my presentations were so wonderful and unique that she allowed this, but really, I think she just forgot each year and let me get away with it. You can imagine my happiness when I learned that Sofia Coppola was making a movie about Marie Antoinette… actually, you probably can’t. I was VERY happy.

Which living person do you admire?

Sofia Coppola, Mindy Kaling, Liz Meriweather, Zooey Deschanel and Hilary Clinton.

What is the trait that you most deplore in yourself?

My pessimism. Psychologically, people look back on memories in a more positive light than things might’ve actually happened. I look back and remember the most negative aspects. Even on my happiest days, I could probably tell you two or three things that were crappy about that day.

What trait do you most deplore in others?

Lack of motivation is difficult for me to understand because I feel that I’ve had to work ridiculously hard to get everything I have… and I don’t have much to show for it. Laziness is so unattractive to me, but at the same time, I despise when people are too motivated. People who pride themselves on “networking” and places a phone call to every member on the masthead until you get the job. Sure, anyone can place a call, but do you really want to be known as the person who was that pushy?

What is your greatest extravagance?

Books.

What is your favorite journey?

Any that takes me to the airport. Somewhere new that I could have time to explore and enjoy.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Beauty fades, when a good spirit does not.

On what occasion do you lie?

I VERY rarely lie.

What do you dislike about your appearance?

In an effort to keep this survey fairly short: my nose, my teeth, my stubby nails, my susceptibility to acne, my calves/ankles, my boobs and my underarms (but really, who likes their armpit?).

Which living person do you most despise?

Any person who inflicts pain on others with words, actions or violence. This includes everyone from mean girls in high school to political dictators.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I quote movies too much and I say “Really? Really?” when I’m being a sarcastic jerk.

What is your greatest regret?

I’ve made decisions, big ones, where I wonder what could have happened if I would’ve chosen differently. In the end, I know this is my plan. Even if it’s the most difficult path, it’s mine.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Adrien Brody. He just doesn’t know it yet! Kidding… whoever he is, I’m so excited to meet him.

When and where were you happiest?

I have that negative memory thing, but there are moments that I think back to and smile.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would like to have a very, very beautiful singing voice. In another life I would’ve liked to perform on Broadway. Ironically enough, I would never want to be a musician who travels from a different arena or stage each night. Touring would be a nightmare for me.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would be in love with a wonderful man and he would be in love with me.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

My family is beyond dysfunctional… one thing wouldn’t help!

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

It’s never the largest accomplishments that make me proud, it’s the littlest things. Like finishing Anna Karenina or Gone With the Wind.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think that it would be?

I’m already a human cat… so why not come back as a cat? I like napping, grooming myself and stretching. I would also enjoy being pet and having the ability to scratch (no long nails for this girl).

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?

A beautiful, strong horse.

What is your most treasured possession?

I have many things in my life that are important that I would love to keep, but because I’d had to sell a lot of my most favorite things in the past few years, I’ve learned that very few “things” make me happy in life.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

San Diego.

Where would you like to live?

Anywhere else.

What is your favorite occupation?

Person.

What is your most marked characteristic?

I’ve never met a person who has told me, “Morgan, you’re exactly how I thought you would be.” I’m different, a little weird and complicated, but I LIKE that I’m unique. You’ll never meet another person that’s like me… but maybe you don’t want to!

What is the quality that you most like in a man?

Loyalty, respect and a little scruff.

What is the quality that you like most in a woman?

Wits, sweetness and a nerdy side.

What do you most value in your friends?

Laughter.

Who are your favorite writers?

Roald Dahl.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Nancy Drew and Matilda.

What are your favorite names?

Nathaniel, Wesley, Edgar, Sophia, Fay, Olivia and Cleo

What is your motto?

I’ve borrowed it from Marilyn Monroe, a very wise woman indeed. “The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any.”

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