A Letter to my Future Husband

About 6 months ago I started a recurring post on my previous blog titled “Dear Future Husband” and as each post went up I received more and more negative comments for posting something so “desperate” and “materialistic”. (Though, to be fair, there were a handful of positive comments.) These posts mostly comprised of pictures from tumblr or pintrest that I felt exemplified each point I wanted to make. For example, underneath a picture taken in a museum I wrote, “I hope you will want to go to museums with me.” They usually involved silly things like the Batmobile (as in, I want one), picnics (like, we should go on them all the time), or Halloween costumes (wondering if he’d be up for a Lord of the Rings theme). I did post photos of boys I thought were cute, but usually focused on something I found especially attractive, like a cute sweater or a big nose (oh how I love a man with a big schnoz).  These weren’t emotional or revealing posts. However, I was going through a hard time and something that helped me was imagining the life I’m going to have with my future husband someday.

I first want to say that I absolutely believe that there is one man out there, just for me. I also know that not everyone believes this. Maybe you’re incredulous that I would admit to this. Maybe you think I’m naïve or Mormon. I have been single for a ridiculously long time, but I’m not one for casually dating or “hooking up” and I have faith that there’s one man out there, looking for me too.  And I can’t wait to meet him and spend the rest of my life him.

I also want to mention that I am NOT obsessed with weddings or finding the “perfect man.” I’m just looking for the man who is perfect for ME. I’m not writing a list of requirements, because that would be silly. And because this isn’t a Katherine Heigl movie. I’m not asking for him to be Tall Rich and Handsome. If I were to have requirements, they might be a bit unorthodox like “Might have a big nose (a la Adrien Brody) and must laugh while watching Parks and Recreation.”

I’m just going to be honest when I say that it gets lonely waiting for your love to come along. It’s crossed my mind to bring back the Future Husband posts… because I liked doing them! I liked using my imagination and I felt that much closer to finding him. I’m not looking on dating sites and I’m not the type of person who can easily meet someone at a bar and connect either. I just wish I could meet him already! I want to see the world with him by my side. I want to eat breakfast across from him every morning. I want to build forts in our living room on snow days. I hope that someday, after I do meet my husband, my best friend and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, that I can show him the old “husband” posts and he’ll smile. Because he will absolutely want to go hiking and camping. Because he’ll love hanging out in airports with me. Because I’ve already pawned the yard work on him. And because he’s glad that he found me too.

Picture: From Me To You

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2 thoughts on “A Letter to my Future Husband

  1. “Maybe you think I’m naïve or Mormon.” – Do those two things come hand-in-hand??

    Are you Mormon? You seem to post and talk a lot about Mormons, but I’m a Mormon and a lot about what you infer about our faith and us as people is very insulting and I don’t know where you even get these ideas. You refer to our lives as “simple” (in a more recent post) but that is making a HUGE generalization- yes, lots of us try to live simple lives, but in no way does it make it uncomplicated. I don’t really understand why you refer to yourself as being “like a Mormon,” when you’re not, and if you even have any idea what our faith is all about. It’s a faith and lifestyle, but do you know anything about our lifestyle, aside from what you see on glamorized blogs? I understand blogs portray a certain image, but making comments that you portray that image makes no sense whatsoever.

    1. Dear “Mormon Mommy”

      I’m glad that you felt powerfully enough about the subject to write this comment. I can also see that you’ve googled by blog twice by typing “do you think I’m naive or Mormon” into your search engine. While I appreciate your views and comment, I’d like to further explain myself… because you’re right, I haven’t done so.

      First, I have many Mormon friends, ex-boyfriends and family members… and I always have. My best friend, who lives in San Francisco, recently converted to the Church of Latter Day Saints. While I wasn’t able to attend her ceremony, she knows that she has my full support. We also joke about our “Mormon mommy” tendencies… but more on that later. I don’t drink, smoke or go to parties, and in high school, I was always drawn to more religious (Mormon, Baha’i, Christian etc.) friends, because they didn’t didn’t share an interest in these activities either. I respect the religion’s dedication to lifestyle and community, because I feel that it’s a facet of modern life that has long been pushed aside. The encouragement, support and friendship that I’ve seen come out of that church is awe-inspiring to me. I’m very knowledgeable about the religion and I’ve had many debates with others who assume that all Mormon’s are like Big Love characters. However, there are some things I don’t agree on with the Mormon faith and those are my personal beliefs. I was raised in a very liberal family who embraces everyone and religion came second to the tolerance of others. That’s all I will really say about that.

      When I typed “naive or Mormon” I actually meant the wording I chose. The “OR” was there intentional because yes, some people do think I’m naive for believing there is one man out there for me. And sometimes, when I speak to others about my passion for marriage they assume that I am a Mormon. It’s not a negative association, it’s a factual one. That particular faith stresses the importance of marriage and I AGREE. I’d also like to point out that my friend, who is a Mormon and married when she was quite young, “liked” this post on Facebook.

      I’d next like to address the “Mormon Mommy Blog” post and I apologize that you were so offended by this. I’d also like to recommend you to read an article in Bitch Magazine (if you haven’t heard of it before, it’s a very interesting feminist magazine) about female bloggers. While I disagree with most of what they write, there is a hint of truth behind what they write. It’s not a lie when I say that “Mormon Mommy Blog” IS a reality and a popular genre of blog (one that I LOVE!). When I wrote the words “simple” and “uncomplicated” I mean that in the best possible sense. At the moment, my life feels very out of control and unplanned and I’m comparing this stressful life to a simpler and planned one. I would like say that most Mormon women stay at home when they become mothers and I wouldn’t say this is an ugly generalization… it’s just what I know. Many of the Mormon mothers that I know are stay at home moms. Many of these bloggers are as well.

      Blogs are over-glamorized versions of life. I don’t post pictures of myself without makeup or write long posts about how crappy my day was. Everyday, we choose how we would like to be seen on our blogs. Just like we choose what color lipstick to wear or if we say “hi” “hey” or “hello” to someone we first meet. Mormon women, who happen to be mothers, and bloggers, are choosing the way that they would like to portray their life. I’m simply saying that it’s an escape for me. I daydream that my life might someday be similar to theirs. Simply, I’m JEALOUS. Maybe sinful, yes, but cruel? Not a chance. I haven’t written anything that was intentionally scathing about this religion (or any other) ever.

      Finally, I’d like to ask how you came upon my blog originally? This blog is fairly new and I’m always interested in how people have come across it. Also, if you don’t believe me, or choose not to believe what I’ve written, I have sources! Please feel free to find this blog on Facebook… the two Mormon friends I’ve mentioned in this comment are “friends” of the blog.

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