The Nitty Gritty

I haven’t been in a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship since high school. When I think about this, I’m baffled at the thought of being single for so long. Because I truly dislike being single. I really do. But at the same time, my solidarity has absolutely been a choice. Though I do not, in any way, consider myself to be beautiful or incredibly interesting, there has been a string of boys over time that have tried to woo me. And there have also been many crushing crushes that would inspire Taylor Swift to write a new album. The trouble is, I have a delicate heart. I don’t let most people anywhere near it, for fear that it will be stomped on repeatedly. And that isn’t some unjustified over protection either… I know what people are capable of doing with my heart. It’s not pretty. Like last summer, when my heart opened just a little bit for a boy that made me incredibly, ecstatically happy… for a few days. Then I never heard from him again.

My heart is just more complicated than most. I’m intense. I’m odd. I’m different. And I love love. I love far too easily. But at the same time, I’m so wary with with my heart because I know how I am. I’ve had to watch my friends and family fall in love over and over again and as happy as I am for them, I’ve felt devastated. Because I haven’t met someone who will love me back in the same way. A man who is loyal and honest and knows damn well what he wants… and that what he wants is me. I’ve met a lot of boys… a lot of guys… but so far, never a man. I’ve watched the glow of love on my friends faces and pined for that glow of my own… but of course, I have to wait a bit longer. Because the love that I want isn’t just a high school fling full of tumultuous fights and passionate declarations. I want the courtship. I want the respect. I need the romance of a different time. And as hard and as lonely as this wait is… I know it’s worth it.

Olivia is one of my favorite bloggers and I’ve followed her blog Everyday Musings for quite some time. She’s quite a bit like me… she seems to be a very old soul. She’s young, maybe only a few years older than me, but she enjoys sitting on her porch, having dinner parties and taking bike rides. She takes a simpler, slower pace in life and I see a lot of myself in her. I’ve also become a bit fixated on her new relationship. I follow her and her boyfriend on instagram and it warms my heart to have followed their slow approach to love. Stories like this give me hope, that odd girls with old souls will find sweet boys that like dinner parties too.

My Someday Home

Very rarely do I come across an interior home decor editorial that intrigues me. Usually they’re so plain, so traditional, so modern… so not ME. But a few weeks ago I came across this home tour in Traditional Home and smiled. Because it is SO me.

The first thing that stood out to me was the “stuff”. The eclectic items that don’t really need to be there, but make everything look 10 times better. Like those bright numbers on the wall, or the dress form behind the couch. Those items aren’t necessary, but they add a tone of whimsy and individuality to the rest of the room.

This home doesn’t feel staged like all the others. There’s a TV! I’m a big proponent of people showing their TV’s in home shoots… mostly because we all have them! We all watch TV! Why are interior decorators so ashamed of this? I was also pleased that there weren’t 60 different coffee table books lying around. No one ever reads coffee table books! Why do they only exist in these magazines?

What struck me next was the use of color. I’m always drawn to white homes… or at least homes with white bedrooms (I could never live in anything else). But this homeowner injected color in smart ways, like with that beautiful map, spacious coffee table and with witty, mismatched pillows. My only hesitation in the entire room is that the floor is black. You can tell that it’s something that they worked on when they moved in… but I find it a bit too dark. A regular maple-colored floor could’ve opened up the space a lot more.

Finally, what I loved was the mismatched styles of everything. The couch is rather modern, while those chairs are so European and Baroque. The coffee table, minus that awesome color, is actually rather traditional and the chandelier above it is a style that I don’t even understand. And that wonderful trunk is somewhat industrial looking to me… as if someone actually used it to carry around their equipment at some point.

I love how small this space is. They make such a great use out of every square inch. Though I don’t love this table and chairs, they way they’re nestled in this small corner makes me really like them a lot. And I love that they have so many bottles of alcohol on the bottom shelf. Like, look at us! We’re adults! We’re fun! The colorful glassware (again, something I would never use myself) is an afterthought to the pretty collection below.

I’m in love with this bedroom. It meets all my requirements. 1: There is AMAZING lighting. Can you imagine waking up to that every morning? It would be heaven to me. 2: It’s white! Nothing is more relaxing to me that sleeping in a white room. 3: She brought her funky aesthetic to this room. The bust lamp and the leopard chairs add some humor into the room without intruding on the relaxing white. 4: Don’t you just want to crawl into that bed? I do!

Now, these last two rooms are a bit crazy. And not at all MY style. They actually don’t fit with the rest of the home at all, don’t you think? But I like the idea that she has going on here. She took 2 small spaces that normally get zero attention and she made them fun again! If I don’t love them… I do admire them.

Inspiration Days

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On a typical day, including an hour long bus ride both ways, I spend about 11 hours working. It’s hard to get much inspiration on those days… though I do have some great/extremely embarrassing bus stories! But I do get two days off, which helps. I call them my “inspiration days” because I try to get out of my usual neighborhoods and really do something different. Something that kicks me out of my work-week funk. Whether it’s breakfast at a cute cafe or a short trip to the park, anything and everything matters so much on these days off. I’m trying to appreciate more details of life, like helping my cousins get dressed for “crazy day” or achieving a decent foam on my cappuccino. Watching a Mariners game or eating escargot for the first time. Going to a show or thifting at an antique mall. I’m not saying that it’s easy to step back and really appreciate these things, but I’m definitely making an effort!

Today I Went for a Walk

I’ve been meaning to spend some time at the arboretum since I moved to Seattle, especially because I live so close to it… less than 5 miles! One of my most vivid memories of spending time in Seattle when I was young was walking through the arboretum and playing with the largest leaves that I’d ever seen (I guess trees in California didn’t impress me). Today I saw three little girls running around, shouting and playing with wooden swords and it took me back to the magic of the place. I could suddenly envision it as the enchanted forest that I had once visited.

This walk/bike ride was especially important today, when I really needed to clear my head and talk to my best friend. I started with an hour long walk and ended with an hour long phone call at the edge of a picturesque pond. I might’ve cried a bit when I reminded my best friend how much she means to me. I’m so damn lucky to have her. We just took the Briggs Myers test and were only one characteristic off from one another. I’m lucky to have found someone that is so similar to me in many ways, but also different enough to show me interesting activities and perspectives. I could gush further… but I’ll stop. She’s just the best person. In the best friends department, I totally scored. And she makes a mean cootie catcher. And she did gave me the perfect advice today, which I was in absolute need of. A lot of things have changed in the past month or so, and there are so many changes to come in the next coming months… but I’m ready for it! I think I’m a lot tougher than I look. And spending some time in nature always helps when things get confusing. Now I’m going to ice my butt and vow to never again ride a bike without a seat cushion.

Oh Gee Gia

Everything about her is so darn cool. I fell in love with this Vegas shoot from Bazaar!

So Excited!

A few months ago I was seriously considering moving to Seattle… but I was afraid. Yes, I had family and a handful of friends who lived in the city, but it wasn’t enough of a push for me to actually make the move. Then, in what seemed like perfect fate, I saw a blog post. One of my most favorite bloggers EVER was looking for an intern in Seattle. I wrote her an email right away. Like, that night. I was nervous, but I sent it off thinking that I’d never hear from her anyway… it just felt like it was too much of a long shot. Now, here I am, two months later working the coolest internship with the best boss. My first real project was this photo shoot… and it definitely felt more like fun than work! Isn’t it just so ethereal and moody? The funny thing is, I feel like a lot of weddings are kind of hokey, but even in my jaded opinion, this wedding table shoot was beautiful yet understated. I excel in getting things done, which came in handy for setting up the space and the cake, but I also learned a lot about what makes a photo shoot great! My speedy organization counteracts her creative genius, in a good way! I’m so proud of how everything turned out! Check out the spread on The Everygirl or on Cassandra’s blog Coco + Kelley!

How beautiful did that cake turn out? We had the original idea for the ribbon effect, but we wanted to incorporate an ombre effect somewhere within the table as well! Not to toot my own horn too much… but isn’t the ombre effect on this Baked cake just gorgeous?!

We got to do oyster shots after the shoot! Have I mentioned how wonderful Seattle seafood is? Because it’s WONDERFUL! And the owner’s of this restaurant were so cool and laid back about us using their beautiful space. If you have the chance, stop by Frank’s sometime soon!

And isn’t she just so dang pretty?

McKenzie Powell did an amazing job on those bouquets and James Moes was such a fun photographer!

I also have to mention my aunt, who donated so much of her time and personal belongings to this shoot! Without her help, the shoot wouldn’t have gone as smoothly!

Hi! A Mini-Update!

Some of my favorite ladies in the whole world just lounging in their robes!

Molly Moon’s has officially become my cure-all to bad days.

There have been a LOT of “bun days” lately. It’s not something that I’m proud of, but I just haven’t had the time to do much else!

I love visiting cool and funky antique shops more than anything else in the world. And I’m not even kidding!

My super cool cousin won’t let me take a normal picture of him. Trust me, he’s cute when he’s NOT making weird faces!

I like finding the beauty in little details. These artichokes were such a gorgeous display and a lot of other people who “liked” this picture agreed! I feel like most people who don’t follow me on Instagram must forget that I’m even alive! It’s the only constant contact that I have with the outside world sometimes!

I finished reading Jurassic Park and saw The Avengers in the same day. I’m pretty sure that this means that I’m turning into a preteen boy. And both were AMAZING by the way!

I forced myself to take the time to get a manicure this week. Granted, it took place during a rushed 30 minute lunch break, but I got one nonetheless! I was almost weeping from the relaxation of someone rubbing my hands for a short while.

I’ve been making the trip to and from Capitol Hill from downtown Seattle a LOT lately (my poor feet) and every time I walk past this sticker, I’m reminded of the friend who showed it to me! Pretty hilarious, huh?

Does anyone else remember my new years resolutions? Slowly, but surely, I’m plodding through each and every one! Also, I’m horrible at pool. Terrible, even. And I’m a sore loser.

Starbucks has fed me an embarrassing number of times in the past couple of weeks. Without that ever-present company, I would’ve starved.

I’ve been to so many different restaurants in the past few weeks, that I could probably write a novel about it. Maybe this will turn into a Seattle food blog! Either way, I’ve eaten my way through scrumptious pastas, crispy baguettes, the best pizza you will ever eat and mouthwatering sushi. Of course, I wouldn’t have found even half of these wonderful restaurants without out having a knowledgeable guide… but maybe there’s more to come on that later….

All the hipsters drink Stumptown, but I gotta say… I was sorely disappointed. At least they made it pretty to look at?

Don’t be fooled by the glaring whiteness… I was feeling so desperately tired that I fell asleep on the bus not once, but several times that day. I’ve become a crazy bus lady. And I also need a good 7 hours of sleep a night to stay sane!

A LOT has happened in the past week.

I guess I never really went into the details of it all, but now I should probably explain a little more. I’m currently living with my aunt, uncle and three cousins in Seattle and during my visit with them a few weeks ago, I landed three interviews. Now, I always had the idea in the back of my mind that I wanted to end up in Seattle, but what I really wanted was the opposite of San Diego. And when I came to Seattle, I realized that I had found it. I heard “yes” from two of the interviews, one as a intern with a popular blogger/designer, Cassandra Lavalle of Coco + Kelley and Rue Magazine and the other at an online advertising company. I began the advertising job right away, literally three days after I traveled from Wisconsin to Seattle. I loved that I took the bus everyday, that I could dress up in fancy clothes and look like a professional woman. I loved that I worked in a skyscraper building (even though I’m deathly afraid of heights) and that I was three blocks away from one of the most wonderful places in all of Seattle, Pike Place. But there were a lot of drawbacks too. People would NOT talk to me there. They’d send emails when they were sitting only a few feet away. A lot of people belonged in that job, where they didn’t have to communicate face-to-face, but I did not. I needed a friend, someone that I could talk to. I needed some sort of stimulation other than whatever music was playing on my headphones. It was a constant struggle and I won’t lie, I went home crying a few days. Slowly, I met a handful of really kind, outgoing people, but it wasn’t enough to make me stay and on Monday, I quit the job. I hope that the friends I made while I was there will stay, because they really are awesome people who handle that environment so much better than I could! I didn’t just quit a full time job for nothing though, I was offered a full time position as an assistant at a high-end spa, just 3 blocks from where I was working before. I’m also becoming more involved with my internship and last Tuesday I was able to assist on a professional wedding table photo shoot.

It was so exhilarating to feel 100% in your element. Where you know how each and every detail is going to play out. It’s somewhat stressful, sure, but it’s worth it in the end, when you see the final result! Once the shoot is posted online, very soon, I’ll post the link on here!

In short, that’s how I feel… in my element. Yes, I’m usually dog-tired. My feet are usually swollen from running around from place to place. I’ve had to incorporate more “bun days” into my life. But I feel happy. I feel younger. I feel less stressed and more carefree. Each day looks entirely different than the last, but it’s become something that I look forward to, rather than stress about. I know a lot of changes are coming my way in the next couple of months, but it’s something that I’m welcoming, rather than dreading.